Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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