I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
