I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
