Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
