C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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