hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
