Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
