So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
