You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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