The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
