I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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