Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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