Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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