i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
