I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
