they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
worst night to have a conscience
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
