Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
