I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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