He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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