meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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