question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
