Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
