Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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