google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
