apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
