She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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