You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
they need to just BURY HIM!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
