you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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