U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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