Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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