I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
we're so committed to being not committed
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
