Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize