i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize