this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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