exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
