whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
