somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
