Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
