the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
