Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
