How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
