dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There's always time for handjobs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
