my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
