dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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