It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
