His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You are the jesus of drinking
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
