operation harelip BJ is a go
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So much rum. So many feels.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
