I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
