that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
