Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
