So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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