So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
