True but thats because hes a fetus.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
