I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
