I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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